1. Pay four dollars for downloadable content.
2. Insert Assassin's Creed II disc.
3. Unzip pants.
4. Pick up bar of soap that the mission "Port Authority" dropped behind you.
5. Get raped by a large, angry prisoner named Merle. (lubricant not available)
6. Go from "avid fan" to "bitter and disillusioned former fan."
7. Sell Assassin's Creed II disc